ARTY
                                (Pulls James around to other
                                 side of kiosk, where the
                                 convention info now
                                 appears.)
                          LOOK!

                                      JAMES
                                (pulls away, reads the
                                 screen, then turns, walking
                                 into employee entrance to
                                 clock out)
                          Cripes, Arty!  Big deal!  Wow!  Porn
                          stars in Vegas?  Who'da thought?

                                      ARTY
                                (practically tripping over
                                 himself in excitement)
                          WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL??!!!
                                (excitedly hopping from foot
                                 to foot)
                          Oh, man!  Oh, mannnnnnn!
                                (turning imperially to James)
                          Here's the big deal!

                (Pulls out a folded page from an adult magazine.  On it
                is the picture of very healthy video vixen, Tanya Onia,
                wearing a big smile and a very small top.)

                                      ARTY (CONT'D)
                          Look at the caption!  LOOK AT THE
                          CAPTION!

                                      JAMES
                                (reading from the page as
                                 they continue to walk
                                 through back halls of
                                 casino)
                          World adult video goddess Tanya Onia..

                                      ARTY & JAMES
                                (together)
                          ...pronounced "on ya"!...
                                (Arty melts in ecstasy at the
                                 thought)

                                      JAMES
                          ...will be co-hosting the 23rd annual
                          Adult Arts in Cinema Awards the weekend
                          of...
                                (Lowers the article as he
                                 pulls his time card and
                                 stamps it;
                                 Arty grabs the article with
                                 frustration and waves it at
                                 him.)

                                      ARTY
                          THAT'S THIS WEEKEND, Matlock!

                                      JAMES
                          Now I see why you're so excited.
                                (Looking down at Arty's groin
                                 area)
                          And so can everyone else, for chrissakes! 
                          Take it down a notch!

                                      ARTY
                                (rearranging self as James
                                 starts for exit)
                          I've got to see her!  I can't be this
                          close to paradise and not stick at least
                          my pinky in...

                                      JAMES
                          STOP!

                                      ARTY
                          I wasn't speaking figuratively...ohhh,
                          man, that figure!

                                      JAMES
                          Hate to bear bad news, bud, but you don't
                          have much time.  Today's Friday.

                                      ARTY
                                (surprised and angry)
                          Oh, maaaan!  How the hell did THAT
                          happen?

                                      JAMES
                                (teasingly)
                          Arty.  Just think.  She's already here,
                          getting ready for tonight.  She's
                          probably showering right now, soapy,
                          hot...

                                      ARTY
                                (imploring, untucking shirt
                                 to hang over groin area)
                          Stop it, man!  Not fair!