CHRIS
            O.k. We have to make it seem like it's his idea....

                                   Stage dark.

                                   Lights up on sofa area.  Chris, Mike
                                   and Fiona are in the living room. 
                                   Fiona and Chris are seated.

                                   MIKE
                          (pacing)
            Where is he?

                                   CHRIS
            Calm down, mister.  This is his home.  He'll be back.

                                   FIONA
            How so sure you are!  So cock sure.

                                   Mike and Chris look at each other, not
                                   sure how to react.

                                   FIONA
                          (bursts out laughing)
            Your faces!  I beat you off at your own game!

                                   The three laugh harder.  The door
                                   starts to open.

                                   CHRIS
                          (to quiet Fiona and Mike)
            SSSSssssst!

                                   Todd walks in, looking suspiciously at
                                   the three.  They each look depressed,
                                   in their own way.

                                   TODD
            Oh, this is pretty.

                                   CHRIS & MIKE
            Hey, Todd.

                                   TODD
            And to what do I owe the honor of this visit?

                                   CHRIS
            We're here for the funeral.

                                   TODD
            Who died?

                                   MIKE
            Queerwolf.

                                   TODD
            Oh, come on.  We can find another actor.

                                   CHRIS
            Oh, sure we can.  But that means we miss our commitments with
            the editing studio, the actors for overdubs, the copiers,
            distributors...

                                   TODD
            I thought we were the distributors.

                                   CHRIS
            Don't pick!  The advertisers, the season peak, the...

                                   TODD
            I get it, whiner.  So we have to get someone immediately.

                                   FIONA
            We have tried, mooshka.  There are no talents available.

                                   CHRIS
            She's right, mooshka.  I went over the resumes of the others
            that auditioned.  Unless we're willing to go to bargain
            basement...

                                   TODD
            We will not compromise the quality of our actors!

                                   CHRIS
            Very noble, but it doesn't solve our problem.

                                   MIKE
            We're thought-out, Todd.

                                   FIONA
            We have fried our brains, darling.  I have become so
            exhausted.