MISS MACINERNIE
                             (cutting him off)
                         I'm sorry, dear.  I've gotten off
                         track.  So, tell me about this job
                         interview.  What advice can I give
                         you that I haven't given you
                         before?  Be yourself.  Be
                         confident.  Be bright and winning!
                             (pauses)
                         Does he have a hot ass?

                                   VERL
                             (looking back between the
                              INTERVIEWER and Miss
                              Mac.)
                         Who?

                                   MISS MACINERNIE
                         The president.

                                   VERL
                         I don't know.  I've never seen it
                         before.

                                   MISS MACINERNIE
                         It's a well-known fact that
                         presidents must be given a bit of
                         oral servicing now and then.  When
                         doing so, I recommend that you
                         pretend you're in a ball park,
                         enjoying a foot long and a cool,
                         refreshing beer.  Can't you just
                         hear them, root, root, rooting for
                         the home team?  Oh, look, it's a
                         line-drive double!
                             (The INTERVIEWER then gets
                              up again and exist. Not
                              even acknowledging Verl
                              or Miss Mac.)

                                   VERL
                             (confused)
                         What?...I'm not doing that! 
                         But...what if he's sitting down? 
                         What if he doesn't have a not so
                         nice fanny?  Maybe he'll think I'm
                         a Homo-s-e-x-ual.
                             (to himself, flatly)
                         I can't believe she didn't hear or
                         see this.

                                   MISS MACINERNIE
                         And maybe he'll think you're a
                         hottie and should be his love
                         slave!  Karen Carpenter.  Arlen
                         Spector.  It's a known fact that
                         Sly Stallone is a boy-toy for the
                         Pope!

                                   VERL
                         Firstly, I don't think the Pope is
                         allowed to swing that ...oh! 
                         That's not important!  Truth be
                         told, I am not a Homo S-E-X-ual!

                                   MISS MACINERNIE
                         You're not?  Haven't you had sexual
                         relations with men before?
                             (confused)
                         Who the hell am I?  Connie Chung?

                                   VERL
                             (sheepishly)
                         No, no.  You're still you.

                                   MISS MACINERNIE
                         Thank heavens!  Now, dear.  We
                         talked about Holly's delusional
                         ways before, haven't we?

                                   VERL
                         Holly?  What does she have to do
                         with any of this?

                                   MISS MACINERNIE
                         She said you've had sex with men at
                         least 28 times.

                                   VERL
                             (shocked)
                         I most certainly have not!

                                   MISS MACINERNIE
                         Now, Verlycue, are we now Cleo,
                         queen of denial?

                                   VERL
                             (stumbling)
                         It would be more accurate to say
                         that I've had sex with a  toilet
                         stall-wall 28 times.

                                   MISS MACINERNIE
                         And how did THAT happen, sweetums?

                                   VERL
                         All I did was follow the
                         instructions on the wall!  "For a
                         good time, put
                         your...Richard...here".  I didn't
                         know it was a S-e-x thing!  It was
                         a public bathroom-I thought it was
                         another example of our tax dollars
                         at work, a social service...

                                   MISS MACINERNIE
                         That's exactly what George Michael
                         said, that "wake me up before you
                         go-go" boy.

                                   VERL
                         But you can understand my
                         confusion, can't you?  I don't
                         consider it s-e-x; it was more like
                         a...a... misrepresentation.

                                   MISS MACINERNIE
                         Have you been misrepresented by a
                         woman before?

                                   VERL
                         Not that I know of.
                             (thinking to himself)
                         Unless one of them on the other
                         side of the stall was in drag.