MAN
                         There are two kinds of woman, Tommy
                         boy.  The kind you marry and the
                         kind you don't.  I don't believe
                         that a woman can be both species. 
                         You know, the Madonna and whore
                         thing.  It's either/or.  With most
                         women, all you have to do is give
                         them a little attention and you can
                         get right into and up their skirts. 
                         I know what's what.  But just
                         because I might want to have a
                         little, harmless affair on the side
                         doesn't mean I don't love my wife
                         any less.  How can you have sex
                         with the same woman over and over
                         again?  The Europeans can't.

                                   TOM
                             (drunkenly)
                         Europeans are sluts!

                                   MAN
                         But I wouldn't leave my wife for
                         some bimbo.  Geez, you think I'm
                         that stupid?

                                   TOM
                         Not you, man!

                                   MAN
                             (slight pause)
                         I'm not going to screw up my life
                         and pay alimony, get to see my kids
                         on every other weekend.  A lot of
                         people get pissed off when you get
                         divorced.  Especially if it's on
                         account of another woman.  You get
                         married, you stay married.  Just
                         don't be stupid and get busted with
                         some other woman.  Be smart about
                         these things.  Men need the
                         conquest.  It's nothing more than
                         sex.  The hunt.  The game.  It's
                         not like you're killing somebody or
                         robbing a bank or nothing.  I mean,
                         who's gonna get hurt if nobody
                         knows, right?
                             (slight pause as he looks
                              at Tom; gets no response)
                         Maybe those swingers in the 70's
                         had the right idea.  Wife swapping. 
                         But I think I'd cut your nuts off
                         if you tried to fuck my wife.  I
                         know myself well enough and that
                         shit wouldn't fly with me.  Maybe
                         some other guys don't have a
                         problem with it, but I do.
                             (slight pause, gets weepy)
                         Christ, who am I kidding?  I know
                         if I did have an affair,  it would
                         bother the shit out of me the rest
                         of my life.  I'm not a big fan of
                         liars, and that's just what it
                         would make me.  A liar to my wife
                         and worse, to myself.
                             (slight pause, snapping
                              out of it)
                         So what I'm saying is, it's not
                         like your going to be faithful to
                         your wife always and forever.  It's
                         natural to get the wondering eye
                         and keep Mister Willie happy.
                             (slight pause)
                         But then, maybe I shouldn't.  It's
                         just an ego thing, right?  It's
                         just a chemical organism inside men
                         that craves the conquest, right?
                             (slight pause)
                         Naw, let's not kid ourselves.  It's
                         going to happen...sooner or later.