MAN
Have you ever been so in love that
this person consumes your whole
world? Your whole brain? That
every thought you think and every
thing you see revolves around her?
That's how it is with me and Ilene.
She's the most beautiful, smart,
funny, kind, sexiest, brightest,
wise, sexiest girl in the world. I
just love her. I mean, I really
love her. All day, all I think
about. Ilene. I know she didn't
mean it when she said she doesn't
want to see me again. She says she
doesn't want to be in a
relationship. I know she's just
scared of her feelings for me. She
says that I call her at home too
much, that I visit her at work,
Hooters right smack in downtown
Duluth-way too much. She says that
every time she turns around, I'm
there. Sometimes, I like to just
show up with flowers or Pooh bears,
which she loves. I know it
embarrasses her, but she really
loves Pooh bears.
(pause)
But I didn't get it. I know that
she's in love with me too. She
wouldn't have gone out with me
those two and a half weeks if she
wasn't, right? So I told my buddy,
Eric, he's this guy I work with
down at the Jiffy Lube, about
Ilene. He told me to just fuckin'
forget her. He says if I'm horny,
I should go out and rent some
porno's. That idiot. He's got no
idea how special Ilene is.
Besides, none of those girls in
those videos compare to her. I
mean, she's all I can see. So
tonight, I was just driving by and
I saw that her light was on. I
have this bracelet that I brought
for her before she broke...before
we talked.
(holds a small jewelry
box)
It's one of these bracelets that
has her name written in script on
it. Ever see one of those? Girls
love 'em. So I thought, why not
stop by, since she's awake. I
thought she'd really like that. So
I go to her door and I'm about to
knock and I hear giggling. She's
home...and I couldn't believe it!
They're listening to Super Tramp!
"Give A Little Bit" was like our
song, ya know? I've never been so
mad. Except that one time I caught
Maureen, my ex, with another guy.
But she was a slut! I knew that
she was when I broke the door door
down and she screamed and I saw his
big, fuzzy ass on top of
her...Never mind that. It's behind
me now. And Maureen was NOT at all
like Ilene. I know she's not a
slut. I don't want to be angry at
her. It's probably just a friend,
or something. I'm not sure. But I
know she'll tell me. So I'll just
wait. He'll leave. And she'll
tell me. I just have to wait.
Right?
He turns, as if looking at the
house. The song "I Don't know
Enough About You" by Peggy Lee is
heard. The lights fade.
|